Archive for February, 2008

hamming it up

Carol was working in the kitchen when she heard Roger singing in the basement.

“Roger?” she called.


She opened the door to the basement stairs.


“What is it?”

“What are you doing?”


“What are you doing?”


“Are you singing?”


“I said are you singing?”


“You are singing?”



She paused.

“Roger,” called Carol,

“What is it?”

“Why are you singing?”

“I’m practicing.”


“The lads and I are working on a song.”

“A song?”


“Why are you singing a song?”

There was another pause. Roger shuffled to the foot of the stairs.

“Well, there’s this protest, see,” he said. “More of a demonstration.”

“A protest?”

“Yeah, for the pig farmers.”

“But…what are you protesting?”

Roger paused and looked at the stairs.

“Well, it’s about the price of pigs,” he said.

“You’re protesting the price of pigs?”

“Well, yeah. You know about that.”

“Well why are you singing?”

“Well, we just thought we’d write a song for it. Terry says we could be an internet sensation.”

“A what?”

“Well, you know, like on YouTube and all that.”

“On what?”

“You know, like a music video.”

“You’re making a music video about the price of pigs?”

“Well, not exactly. It’s just for a bit of publicity like.”

“A song about pigs?”


“How does it go?”


“How does it go? I mean–you may as well sing it for me, if it’s going to be an internet sensation.”

“Ah no.”


“No no, I can’t. I haven’t practiced yet, like.”


“I can’t.”


“Listen to me–will you. I won’t sing it till it’s done. I won’t.”

“You can at least tell me what it’s called.”

“Listen, I don’t–”

“Roger, you’re hiding down in the basement in the middle of the afternoon singing a song about pigs for a music video. The least you can do–”

“All right, all right. Terry and Bill wrote it. It’s called–“