I just want to thank you all for being here, for coming out tonight.  Yeah… [applause]

I, uh, I just want to say—  [feedback]

I just want to say that I know, I know the last few months have been—  haven’t been my finest, but I just want to say—   [feedback]

I just want, to say that I am here, today—  [pause]

I stand before you today mouse free, and if I could [applause]

I just want to say that there’s no way I could have done that on my own.  And I wanted— [pause]

I know I can’t thank everyone who helped me, on my way.  I know that, but, I just, wanted, to say thanks— [pause, breathing]

Vacuum cleaner,  [sniffle]  I…before…before I saw you, I really, thought, the world was going to end, [pause, swallowing, sniffle]

I really, didn’t know, how I was going to cope with it all.  It just wouldn’t stop, and, no matter, what I tried, I couldn’t make it go away.  And you, you gave me hope.  You made me feel like maybe there was something I could do after all.  Like maybe, I had some power left in life to control my surroundings.  Before you came along, I just thought life sucked.  I never realized how, powerful that sucking could be.  [soft gasp, swallow]

And duct tape, I couldn’t have begun getting over this without you.  You are so—strong.  So strong.  I don’t think anything could chew through you, no matter—anything.  You were my fortress.  [louder]  You were my shiny light.  You were my walls that I swaddled around myself and nestled myself in safety in, and—  [applause]

And disinfectant, I really don’t know what you are, I mean, like, I still don’t understand where you came from, or what you have inside you that makes you do what you do, but I just, know—  When I squeeze you, and you squirt that stuff all over everything, I just know, whatever is living on that surface, whatever, bacteria or whatever that’s got all over it, I know you got it covered.  You’re on it, you’re so on it.  And that makes me feel… [soft gasp, shudder] That makes me feel whole again, and— [applause]

And there’s so many more of you guys.  All you, all you paper towels, and you scrubbing pads, and you, dish detergent, and you pliers when I had to take the stove apart, and I [pause, weeping] I just wish I could thank all of you for everything you’ve done for me, but I [blubbering; applause]

I’m going to sing a song now, but I just, want to thank all you guys,—  You’ll never know how much it means to me, and,— [sniffle]

We’ve been through a lot of shit together, but you got me through it and I’ll love you forever always— [weeping; tumultuous applause]


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