air lines

I’m wearing a muscle-suit onto the plane—
And I like it, it feels quite impressive,
But there is one thing I cannot explain:
People don’t think I’m aggressive!

They ignore my demands for the seat by the window;
They stand around blocking the aisle…
I suppose I could try a right-hook to the chin, although
That really isn’t my style.

It seems that the power of foam-rubber pecs
Comes not from their image of strength,
But from what I guess is a healthy respect
For a man who will go to this length

To get his own way when it comes to air travel.
Maybe it’s really not fair
To blame folks who think that, if I should unravel,
They’d rather not be in midair.

I just didn’t predict they would get so irate—
My purpose was not to inflame,
But nonetheless, we cannot meet at the gate:
You can pick me up at baggage claim.


4 Responses to “air lines”

  1. 1 Joseph Shoer February 15, 2007 at 2:23 pm

    Maybe they’d think you were more serious if you went for the emergency exit-row seats.

  2. 2 alden February 15, 2007 at 10:38 pm

    That’s a good point. Moreover, we at the CPS are pleased to bring you a startling


    which demonstrates a instance in which techniques such as those outlined in the verse above could potentially save lives bring some useful levity to the situation.

  3. 3 jenlinnan February 15, 2007 at 11:16 pm

    Also, I bet those pecs would make an excellent floatation device. Either that or drown you.

  4. 4 Cap March 8, 2007 at 10:30 pm

    Cool Cool Cool….

    I am putting this little jit on my blog if that is ok.

    Keep them comming Alden 🙂

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