We interrupt this program to bring exciting news from the Midwest.* Apparently aliens visited O’Hare airport in early November. To their credit, however, they didn’t stop.

Think that’s strange? You’re not alone, but many Americans are preparing for even stranger: a recent poll showed that 25% of us believe 2007 will be the year of the second coming of Christ. This is slightly fewer than the 35% who believe the U.S. government will reinstate the draft within the next twelve months.

The only thing scarier than aliens and the government are Americans themselves.

(*The CPS acknowledges that this could be oxymoronic. We were just trying to be funny.)


5 Responses to “apoc-ellipse”

  1. 1 jenlinnan January 3, 2007 at 7:35 pm

    I like the new header.

  2. 2 alden January 3, 2007 at 7:41 pm

    Not a permanent solution for sure, but at least it’s more panda-ish.

  3. 3 Joseph Shoer January 3, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    Worse: so-called “scientists” are trying to disguise such phenomena of obviously extraterrestrial origin in technobabble and jargon. But we all know they are hiding the truth.

    Yes. Alden is not of this world.

  4. 4 jenlinnan January 3, 2007 at 8:53 pm

    I knew it! “Alden” is only one letter away from “Alien,” after all! How could we all have been fooled so easily? **SARCASM**

    Also, the panda is cute. It does look somewhat morose, though, almost as if it does not quite enjoy being associated with so many puns.

  5. 5 Lisa February 10, 2007 at 9:13 pm

    This blog post hurts on multiple levels…

    By the way, I don’t want to create a state of hysteria or anything, but I feel obligated to say that my mother, a card carrying and governmentally-recognized alien, has been visiting airports throughout this and many other countries for as long as I can remember–OMG, freak out!!

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