perpetual notion

The Clandestine Panda Service regrets the following transgression of its “No blog posts about random internet crap” rule, but it seems necessary to note that the Irish have done it again.

From the uni-diet that defied nutrition,

to the dance troupe that defied gravity,

to the liquid that defied just about everything,

to the author who titled his memoir with nothing more than a gutteral noise,

You’ve come to expect a lot from the Irish. Now—even now—another mighty tenet of western thought crumples before the genius of the emerald isle:

Say goodbye to the first law of thermodynamics.

You heard. According to this reputable leftist rag, this Irish tech firm has devised a way to create “free energy”—that is, energy without fuel, without decay, without inputs of any kind.


No doubt it should prove beneficial to the Irish space program, which, in case you didn’t know, will launch a mission next week to buy up newly-downgraded Pluto at a discount and simultaneously begin an ad campaign to interest the public in trans-neptunian real-estate.

MORAL: with a sexy website and a delightfully-batshit quotation from an indigenous playwright, there’s nothing you can’t scam. Cheers!


7 Responses to “perpetual notion”

  1. 1 Joseph Shoer August 28, 2006 at 2:54 am

    Props to you on using the phrase “trans-Neptunian.”

  2. 2 alden August 28, 2006 at 3:01 am

    I am, possibly, not as dumb as I look. Or, possibly, I might, possibly, have just wikipediaed Pluto.

  3. 3 alden August 28, 2006 at 3:03 am

    also POSTSCRIPT: props to anyone who can explain to me what ‘props’ means. right.

  4. 4 jenlinnan August 28, 2006 at 11:42 am

    I enjoyed your use of the word (?) “wikipediaed” so much that I went and wikipediaed “props.”

    Props: a slang term meaning to give “proper respect” or “proper recognition” another person; for example, “I’ve got to give props to Dave for handling that situation so well.”

  5. 5 Da Cynic August 28, 2006 at 7:00 pm

    I’m betting that Steorn is a web marketing firm and that this is a viral marketing gimmick to drum up business.

    That being said, if this is at all true, all hail to our Irish energy overlords.

  6. 6 alden August 29, 2006 at 1:55 am

    I’m guessing none of it’s true. Or possibly that they’ve found something that isn’t really practical and would need mega-capital to become so. At any rate, if they’d really found something that worked they wouldn’t need to advertise so hard and call for scientists to verify it—they’d just start selling.

  7. 7 othercriteria August 29, 2006 at 12:41 am

    One should really have wiktionaried “props” to find its definition.

    Perhaps the secret energy source is just ordinary, household sterno. Or nets?

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