Today I have been

1. A sympathetic art lover. I tried to explain to her about Canadian painters—about how they're as good as American Impressionists and Group of Eight but cheaper. And then she started on about this lovely show she'd just been to at the Florence Griswold by this artist whom you've obviously heard of. She was always so busy and ran her own business for many years and never had time to go. And her mother wanted to go too but always had something wrong. Anyways she finally got around to going but they were renovating the museum so there was only one room open with maybe ten paintings and she was disappointed. But she bought the book anyway, and she'll be going back. When she has time.

2. A cowboy. She was a gangly doll with strawb'ry blond hair an' blue jeans pulled up way too high. He was a crusty ol' critter with one a them fancy blazers 'n prob'ly some kinda yacht club pin-doohickey 'tatched to it. He said 'howdy' as they passed through. Jus lookin, seemed. Had to squint awful hard.

3. A helpful local. I just reserved rooms for August at the Millpond Inn—have you stayed there before? Well of course not because you LIVE here! Well, I'm looking forward to canoeing but I'm really a sailor at heart. What do I sail? Nothing much—used to have a thirty-six foot Catalina, but when you live in Amherst like I do it's too hard to drive two hours to Narraganset just to go out for the day. Is there anywhere around here to go sailing? Really? Where's that?

4. An interested businessman. Well I used to work in the New York State Juvenile Corrections Department for thirty years and I was working with the worst kids in New York City so that means I was working with the worst kids in the world murderers drug dealers rapists and my dad he had this painting by blahblahblah and he gave it to me in 1978 and it was worth only five thousand dollars but I got it reappraised in 1990 for eight but then my lawyer said he seen one of these for ten times that so I took it to this other guy who appraised it for eighty thousand and offered me seventy and I said no but then in 1997 I got in this car accident and almost got killed and had serious brain trauma see here's the scar and I had two daughters to put through college and so I sold it for ninety-five thousand but I wish I hadn't because now it's worth like four hundred thousand yeah I like buying and selling paintings sold some to blahblahblah down the way he's got a blahblahblah that's really nice I live outside of Portland yeah got a nice view of back bay and everything but my wife won't let me hang my science fiction illustrations in my old house I had a room for them but this one's too small and I got this nice big canvas by blahblahblah that I got down in wherever and he was painting things like this all his well nice talking to you bye.

5. A bloggist.

6. Asleep?

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3 Responses to “Today I have been”


  1. 1 Joseph Shoer June 11, 2006 at 3:34 am

    OMG, your blog changed themes, like, AS I WATCHED IT. Real-time bloggery. Quite the trendsetter, aren’t you?

  2. 2 jenlinnan June 11, 2006 at 4:13 am

    I take my hat off to you, sir; you are not only an adept Renaissance man, but a very paragon of politeness.

    Plus, your cowboy dialect made me laugh, a lot.

  3. 3 Sam June 12, 2006 at 4:30 pm

    I think you need to author a book that is written from the point of a view of a Maine gallery owner. It would be like Richard Russo meets Tom Wolfe. It would be a-MAY-zing!


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